Thursday, September 25, 2008

Exercise


Exercise

It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, when you're 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

And last but not least:

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

8 comments:

Dolly said...

This is from the senior-clean jokes site that I love!!

Mechelle said...

OH SO FUNNY! M

Lisa Loo said...

I have received this in emails before--I laugh evertime. I feel like it should be my blogger profile!

MERRIANNE said...

funny Dolly!!!!

i love your sense of humor!!!!

McEwens said...

TOO FUNNY!!!!!! Bummer I should have read this BEFORE i went walking today!

McEwens said...

PS I LOVE David Archelta~ I didnt know he had two songs out!

Mikki said...

So funny! Thanks, I needed to laugh.

Earle Family said...

Okay... that makes sense (About Roch's family). Whew... I was worried something new had happened. Thanks!