Friday, January 21, 2011

January News

I was on the phone the other night with my mom, and she mentioned that I need to write things out more to reduce the stress on my life. I dislike the word stress and would like to soften the thought with just "challenges". Everyone has them...and everyone handles them differently. My mind thinks that if I'm not verbal about my world to others, I just may have to internalize the heartaches. If it's not kidney stones...it'll be something else...like intestinal trouble.

A few days ago, I had a sharp pain on my left side of my lower stomach. It got the point that I could not stand the pain any longer, and went to the doctor. I told him that I probably had kidney stones again or maybe just a bladder infection. My hubby was with me-so I think he realized that it was a little more serious than just indigestion. He told me that it was probably something to do with my colon-{like diverticulitis}. I'm not eating enough whole foods and the intestine is inflamed. So, now I have lots of antibiotics to help heal the spot. I'm turning into an old person who needs to eat prunes-Aaaaaa!

To counter balance the down-side...I'll mention a good part of my week. I found some maternal relatives from Alaska on Facebook. We've had fun talking on the phone and getting to know each other better. I was given a phone number by my biological Aunt-she said it was a sister of mine. So, I got brave...went into a closet and called the number. It turned out to be an older of sister-who's name use to be Jennifer. She's not very far away from me...so we have plans to see each other soon. Her life has been very challenging -and also very similar to our biological mother's. I have to ask her why she would choose such a difficult path? She's not sure, but she knows that it's hard to survive without being raised by her own mother. I can relate to that thought-but know I might possibly have been down the same path of destruction if I HAD stayed in my biological family. I may have never known about abstaining from alcohol and drugs and staying chaste and clean for marriage. Having the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life has made all the difference. This was the gift I was given from my new family.

My own children know that I am still learning about control issues. I can be very strict about daily schedules and following rules. This is similar to how I was raised-not to question authority and certainly not to back talk your mother. When faced with these issues now, I know that I have either "given in" or lashed out in anger. Usually "time" is a factor in my choices and I end up apologizing for a quick temper. My daughter watches my every move-and I know she'll resort to using my bad parenting on her own family-if I don't hold my tongue and be slow to anger. For this new year, I've given my kids the promise that I can control my words and actions. It's all part of learning and growing. I can make excuses and try and say that "I'm in-charge!"-but it's best for my kids to WANT to do what's right-without me telling them. It's best for them to use their free agency in positive ways. It's also easier on ME...and my intestines.

5 comments:

ldsfamofak said...

Dolly, That is so great that you have found your bio family! It is always a good thing when we can see were we have come from it can give us such good perspective on our own life. You are a great mom! And your kids have a great example of a mother who has talents and knows the meaning of charity.

Lisa Loo said...

So glad you know the reason behind your "inside's malfunctions" but too bad it isn't easier to de-stress our lives, right?

We are all doing the best that we can each and every day--go easy on yourself.

So cool that you have found some more of your biological family! COngrats!

Jenny said...

Hope you feel a little more stress free in the days to come. Feel better soon.

Glad your connecting with your biological family.

Roger and LeAnn said...

Bless you Dolly I am so happy you are back blogging. I do hope you get better soon. I think it is so wonderful that you found your sister. I know you will have an great influence on her and her life challenges. It is such a blessing to have the gospel. We have had many challenges and I know I would not have made it through with out the gospel, the Savior, prayer and our Heavenly Father. We are so blessed. You sound just like me when I was raising children your age. Just keep loving them and enjoying the moments.
Blessings and hugs to you! LeAnn

Amy said...

Thank you for sharing this post! I too need to be slow to anger and have more patience! You are an inspiration!

And I'm so glad you are locating your bio family!