January News

I was on the phone the other night with my mom, and she mentioned that I need to write things out more to reduce the stress on my life. I dislike the word stress and would like to soften the thought with just "challenges". Everyone has them...and everyone handles them differently. My mind thinks that if I'm not verbal about my world to others, I just may have to internalize the heartaches. If it's not kidney stones...it'll be something else...like intestinal trouble.

A few days ago, I had a sharp pain on my left side of my lower stomach. It got the point that I could not stand the pain any longer, and went to the doctor. I told him that I probably had kidney stones again or maybe just a bladder infection. My hubby was with me-so I think he realized that it was a little more serious than just indigestion. He told me that it was probably something to do with my colon-{like diverticulitis}. I'm not eating enough whole foods and the intestine is inflamed. So, now I have lots of antibiotics to help heal the spot. I'm turning into an old person who needs to eat prunes-Aaaaaa!

To counter balance the down-side...I'll mention a good part of my week. I found some maternal relatives from Alaska on Facebook. We've had fun talking on the phone and getting to know each other better. I was given a phone number by my biological Aunt-she said it was a sister of mine. So, I got brave...went into a closet and called the number. It turned out to be an older of sister-who's name use to be Jennifer. She's not very far away from me...so we have plans to see each other soon. Her life has been very challenging -and also very similar to our biological mother's. I have to ask her why she would choose such a difficult path? She's not sure, but she knows that it's hard to survive without being raised by her own mother. I can relate to that thought-but know I might possibly have been down the same path of destruction if I HAD stayed in my biological family. I may have never known about abstaining from alcohol and drugs and staying chaste and clean for marriage. Having the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life has made all the difference. This was the gift I was given from my new family.

My own children know that I am still learning about control issues. I can be very strict about daily schedules and following rules. This is similar to how I was raised-not to question authority and certainly not to back talk your mother. When faced with these issues now, I know that I have either "given in" or lashed out in anger. Usually "time" is a factor in my choices and I end up apologizing for a quick temper. My daughter watches my every move-and I know she'll resort to using my bad parenting on her own family-if I don't hold my tongue and be slow to anger. For this new year, I've given my kids the promise that I can control my words and actions. It's all part of learning and growing. I can make excuses and try and say that "I'm in-charge!"-but it's best for my kids to WANT to do what's right-without me telling them. It's best for them to use their free agency in positive ways. It's also easier on ME...and my intestines.